A year ago yesterday, I had knee surgery to fix my torn ACL. Although the season was already over and I tore it in the middle of the season, it was still the definitive end to my soccer career. Sometimes I look back and still get emotion that my career had to end that way; I still hadn’t ruled out playing professionally in the WPSL when my former coaches were saying my name was generating interest. But, this surgery cemented my decision to hang my goalie gloves up for good. I mean, if you look at my knees pre-surgery you would understand. The surgery scars are only an addition to the many battle wounds I have cumulated over the years. Like my mom says, “You will never be a leg model”—thanks mom, ha
I feel like my life has dramatically changed in a year, if that’s even possible. Thinking back to a day where I was unable to lift my leg off the ground seems like a lifetime ago, to where I sit today writing this. Not only has my location changed, but my passions have shifted. I would have never, ever guessed I would be living a year in Africa, let alone in a country that I didn’t even know existed. I love how much I have changed and matured in a year, and it gives me hope that after my year here is up I will be looking back on my year here with the same mindset. Again, I have no idea where the future will take me in a year. I do not believe that my destiny is already written for me, predetermined; I think that’s an excuse people use when they themselves have made the wrong turn. But instead, I think life is a series of choices, and I feel content in myself as a driver to steer myself in the right direction (as long as it's not a manual).
It is these moments, where I look into my past and wouldn’t change anything. Yes, it was unfair how I ended my soccer career, but how can I ever think just for a second that my life is “unfair” when I’m surrounded by sickness and poverty? THAT is unfair, and it makes me so angry when people (myself included) do not appreciate their lives. It happens to the best of us, but next time it does, try to take a step back, take a deep breath, and let the sun shine on your face even when it's cloudy because there is always light to those who seek it.
Next post will be more easy breezy, promise.
Peace, Love, and Fairness